Self-Induced Humiliation

So, He and I didn't do much talking about this request He had made. Of course I wanted to want to grant His request, and I wondered why I not only hesitated, but resented His request. I envisioned myself stripped of the delight that comes in serving, not because I have to serve, but because I am free not to serve. I had known such a master before, and never wanted to taste of that flavor again.

Then He reminded me of how gracious my day-job employer is, and how much I have come to enjoy working for her, and that she is imperfect, unlike Him. If I saw my working for her as a gift from Him, would not working for Him be joy unspeakable? And yet, the humiliation of the demotion from home owner to servant in what used to be my own home. None-the-less, I moved my things quietly into the servant's quarters. I would trust Him even in my humiliation.

However, that was not my complete humiliation. After moving, I forged about in my possessions to find the deed to slip it under His door. But when I pulled out the paper, I found to my chagrin, that the house was not in my name, nor ever had been. It had once belonged to one called Serpant, but had been bought by my houseguest. The house in which I had played Lady and Hostess, was not my own. How could I, after resenting His request to be Lord of His own house, how could I ever show my face again before Him? But by now, I knew Him well enough to know How gracious He would be.

As depressing thoughts of perpetual servanthood rolled over me, I remembered His servants from former ages. He told them He no longer considered them servants, but friends. They also loved serving Him so much, that they insisted on remaining in the capacity of servanthood. I wondered if I would ever reach either point. And then, He kindly sent me a note one morning. It told how those who lift themselves up above everyone else, His father will humble, but those who humble themselves, i.e. put themselves lower than they or others think worthy, His father will lift up at the perfect time. Yes, I had usurped a position that had not been mine, and I had been humbled, though, admittedly, ever so gently. I can learn to fully trust a Master like that. And, I have the secure hope, that in serving my Master humbly, His Father (and He always does the will of His Father) will not kick me into a corner to rot or rust away.

Now the need is to keep my eyes on Him, to Abide in Him all the more, lest I fall short in my serving; for my serving is no longer simply what delights me, but rather, what delights Him.


I just reported for duty, and He gave me a bosom of a hug. "I love you," he said. "Even though I am now a servant?" was my embarrrased reply. "You have always been a servant." This is a good beginning.